Abigail grew up in Washington, DC attending local day schools. She recieved a major concussion in her freshman year of high school, and suffered long-term from her symptoms. She unfortunatly recived another blow to the head the following year which had a big impact on her mental health. She used to be a three-season athlete, but is no longer allowed to participate in contact sports. She has fully healed from her symptoms today, and has many words of wisdom about concussions. 

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“It’s either a brain tumor or a massive head injury that resulted in brain damage.”

 

Those words echoed through my damaged brain as I stared at the doctor in shock. None of my multiple CT scans or EEGs revealed a tumor, so I guessed it was brain damage from a massive impact. 

 

I had amazing vision all my life, but one day I woke up virtually unable to see. I ignored it at first, willing it to go away, but every day my vision worsened, until the world had become a scary blur of colors and shapes. The ophthalmologist concluded that my eyes both refused to function together and lost their ability to focus. I was terrified. After months of daily eye therapy and use of bifocals, slowly my vision began to return. I couldn’t believe that three years later, the residual effects of my concussion continued to affect me so deeply. 

 

I still have the dents in my head to remind me of the impacts to my brain I had sustained in ninth grade. While shutting the trunk of our truck, my hand slipped and I ended up slamming my head in it. My heavy textbook-filled backpack immediately pulled me down and my head bounced multiple times off the pavement until my world went dark. The damaged parts of my brain began to shut down for repairs. I quickly became a four-year-old trapped in the body of a teenager. I would get lost in my own house and would have to crawl up and slide down the stairs. While doctors concluded that I was healed seven months after the impact, this was not the case. I could not function properly and even a year after receiving my concussion, I could not properly think for myself, or even think at all. Inside my head was silent, and I spent everyday scared that I would live my life this way forever. 

 

Sitting in bed at night, I would stare at the pile of books on my desk. I used to be an avid reader, but now it was a struggle for me to simply read the title of the books, yet alone read the contents. Heartbroken, I would lay in bed with a book every night, attempting to slowly decipher the smudges I saw in hopes of being able to dive into the stories that tempted me every day. From the shelves where they were placed, they mocked me. Those books motivated me to do something. I researched things that one would do if they were doing eye therapy, and did the exercises every day. Soon reading the titles of these books was not so difficult, and I was able to make out the black smudges that ran across each page as individual letters. I began reading through these books that mocked me from the shelves before. It took around a year, but my eyes eventually started to become normal again. 

 

When I recovered from my vision impairment and regained my sight, I resolved to face my struggles head on. Reading hurt my brain and it seemed impossible to remember attending classes, yet alone what was taught during them. I learned how to take thorough notes to remind myself of what was taught in my classes that day. I adapted new methods of learning so that I could attempt to understand. I used to be timely, but was struggling with memory loss. I would often find myself forgetting even making an appointment, so I would miss them entirely. I started setting alarms and writing reminders. I also retaught myself how to study in order to improve my grades. I met with my teachers to review material, and joined peer study groups. I organized my belongings in order to insure that I would never misplace any of my school work. I taught myself how to be a good student again. 

 

For almost three years, I accepted and coped with the many long-term effects of my concussion. I slowly regained feeling in my arms and legs, and I reclaimed my old self. I still use a lot of my adjusted learning methods to stay organized and on track, but have regained my old self and the memory and thoughts that I used to know so well. I no longer rely on a borrowed brain and am finally myself again. I have reclaimed my true identity and am again the person that I used to be. The world is no longer blurry and my thoughts are clear in my head. It is no longer silent in my brain.